The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality", or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed. Some other symptoms are
(b) Foul vocal emissions
(c) Amnesia of origin
(d) Lack of peace and joy
(e) Selfish, or violent behavior
(f) Depression or confusion in the mental component
(g) Fearfulness
(h) Idolatry
(i) Rebellion.
The RepairTechnician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is:
(b) Joy
(c) Peace
(d) Patience
(e) Kindness
(f) Goodness
(g) Faithfulness
(h) Gentleness
(i) Self Control
WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction, voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers [DEMONIC POSSESSIONS & AND ZOMBIE APOCALPSE and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER:
The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice!!!
